Have Courage and Be Kind

My darling girl,

This week you’re going to turn four months old, and I’m already dumbfounded by where the time has gone.

Gone are the days of 3oz bottles and our Teen Mom 2 marathons at 1AM during a night feed, and gone are the days of your newborn cry. Instead that baby who was once so dependant has been replaced by a fiery, funny independent little girl with the best personality.

A little girl who wants so desperately to be able to sit up, to show anyone and everyone her feet that she’s recently discovered, to spend her life under her play gym instead of in your arms and loves nothing more than a raspberry being blown on her tummy.

The newborn cry has been replaced with new sounds depending on how you’re feeling. You have different cries for different needs, you have an angry shout and a beautiful giggle to match your beautiful smile.

The past four months have been a whirlwind and I’m left thinking “did I enjoy them enough?”, “Should we have cuddled more?”, “Should you want to be so independent already?” and the ever-present “am I doing it* correctly?”. *it being motherhood

We’re four months in to your precious life and that has had me thinking about all the wonderful things that lay before us. Your first steps, your first words, your first birthday… all of your firsts. Will time ever slow down or will I be left feeling exactly the same as I do now when I sit in your empty bedroom when you move out? Will I remember those night feeds as I do up your wedding dress? Will I always see the little fiery girl who lays beside me now?

Parents have numerous hopes for their children. Hopes of great educations and successful jobs. Hopes of love and friendships. Hopes of travel and adventure.

For you, Hallie, I hope two things. I hope that throughout your life you will always have courage and always be kind. If you’re able to do these two things, then the rest will come.

I wish for you to have the courage to pursue your dreams – whatever they may be, and that you have the ability to ignore those who doubt them. I hope you have the courage to take your life in the direction you wish, to share it with those you love and admire, and to enjoy every single moment of it. Have the courage to stand up for yourself against bullies, whatever guise they enter your life under. Have the courage to tell people no – unless it’s when you’re a toddler and the thing asked of you is to put on your shoes. In that case please just put on your shoes

Have the courage to live life to the fullest, and know that you will forever be loved unconditionally.

Be kind to everyone you meet, for you never know what someone is going through. Be kind to those who are unkind, as those are the ones who need kindness most. Be kind to your parents – old age doesn’t come itself, and again, those night feeds brought some wrinkles along with those precious memories. Be kind to your friends, they will love you regardless of the decisions you make.

Most importantly though, my darling girl, be kind to yourself. Know that you are valued, loved and adored. Know that you have changed lives in these short four months. Know that you deserve happiness and adventure. Know that you will make mistakes, but that everyone has and continues to do so too. Know that everyone who looks like they have it all together, could just be really great actors.

Take time to have a bath, take time to read, to watch that trashy TV show. Take time for you, make time for you and always, always, remember that your dad and I will be cheering you on. Always.

We got this, Stinker.

Three is the magic number.

X

Everything Happens For a Reason

We’ve all been told at some point in our lives that ”Everything happens for a reason.” or that ”What’s for you won’t go by you.” but just how often do you actually take those words on board and see the positives in the negative things that you experience?
I know more than anyone that the negatives of life can sometimes trick our brains into think that the positives don’t outweigh the negatives, but if you sit down and really think about it – and I mean really think about it, you’ll realise that they do.

If you were to write down a list of everything good that has happened in your life, and just how momentus they were to your life then I think you would be shocked by just how much positivity surrounds every single one of us. Whether it’s a smile from a stranger, or graduating from University with the grade you’ve worked hard for; all of these can change our perspectives and I think it’s time that we started focusing more on them as a society than focusing on the negativity that comes to play every day of our lives.
It’s time for us to wake up in the morning with excitement in our hearts instead of fear.

Think of the scariest thing you have ever done, and how absolutely terrified you were to do it – now, no matter the outcome, be it the one you hoped for or the one you dreaded – are you still here? Did the world end? Did it destroy you? The answer is you’re still here, ready for more and you just have to get your brain into thinking the same as your heart and courage.
I remember being terrified to leave the house most days – and I still have those days when my head is really bad, but you know what? I get up, and I go out. Even if it’s just to the shop. I just need to show myself that I can do it, and that nobody – not even myself is going to stop me from doing it.
Since realising this I have made so many of my own dreams come true, and I’ve loved every minute of it. I’m not cured – not by any means, but I’m in control of my anxiety instead of it being in control of me.
I’ve realised that every little thing that has ever happened in my life has brought me to this exact moment in time, with the people I have around me and the things that I am achieving being results of every bad experience, and more importantly, every good experience. We can’t go forward before going backwards, and there’s no light without darkness. You just need to try and stay positive and you will achieve the things you want to.

It sounds a lot easier than it is, I’m not going to deny that, but what I’m trying to say is that at the end of the day, every single minute of your life is worth it!
Never, ever think that it’s not, and if you ever do, then I have a challenge for you – ask your closest friend three things that they love about you. Then, when you know them write them on some sticky notes and put them on your mirror. Now, anytime that you have a negative thought or experience I want you to replace the negative words with one of these (or all three) and hopefully that will make you realise that what you see in yourself isn’t what everyone else sees – everyone else sees the beautiful, brave and wonderful human being that you are.

Thank you for reading,
Chrisselle xo