Everything Happens For a Reason

We’ve all been told at some point in our lives that ”Everything happens for a reason.” or that ”What’s for you won’t go by you.” but just how often do you actually take those words on board and see the positives in the negative things that you experience?
I know more than anyone that the negatives of life can sometimes trick our brains into think that the positives don’t outweigh the negatives, but if you sit down and really think about it – and I mean really think about it, you’ll realise that they do.

If you were to write down a list of everything good that has happened in your life, and just how momentus they were to your life then I think you would be shocked by just how much positivity surrounds every single one of us. Whether it’s a smile from a stranger, or graduating from University with the grade you’ve worked hard for; all of these can change our perspectives and I think it’s time that we started focusing more on them as a society than focusing on the negativity that comes to play every day of our lives.
It’s time for us to wake up in the morning with excitement in our hearts instead of fear.

Think of the scariest thing you have ever done, and how absolutely terrified you were to do it – now, no matter the outcome, be it the one you hoped for or the one you dreaded – are you still here? Did the world end? Did it destroy you? The answer is you’re still here, ready for more and you just have to get your brain into thinking the same as your heart and courage.
I remember being terrified to leave the house most days – and I still have those days when my head is really bad, but you know what? I get up, and I go out. Even if it’s just to the shop. I just need to show myself that I can do it, and that nobody – not even myself is going to stop me from doing it.
Since realising this I have made so many of my own dreams come true, and I’ve loved every minute of it. I’m not cured – not by any means, but I’m in control of my anxiety instead of it being in control of me.
I’ve realised that every little thing that has ever happened in my life has brought me to this exact moment in time, with the people I have around me and the things that I am achieving being results of every bad experience, and more importantly, every good experience. We can’t go forward before going backwards, and there’s no light without darkness. You just need to try and stay positive and you will achieve the things you want to.

It sounds a lot easier than it is, I’m not going to deny that, but what I’m trying to say is that at the end of the day, every single minute of your life is worth it!
Never, ever think that it’s not, and if you ever do, then I have a challenge for you – ask your closest friend three things that they love about you. Then, when you know them write them on some sticky notes and put them on your mirror. Now, anytime that you have a negative thought or experience I want you to replace the negative words with one of these (or all three) and hopefully that will make you realise that what you see in yourself isn’t what everyone else sees – everyone else sees the beautiful, brave and wonderful human being that you are.

Thank you for reading,
Chrisselle xo

Highschool Never Ends

In today’s society it seem that, while we’re fighting discrimination against some people, we’re almost encouraging it against others. Since when was it society’s place to decide how one singular person should live their life? Since when did it become acceptable to treat people differently, as long as it was seen ‘okay’ by the majority of people, or more importantly by the people in the big chairs with the wads of cash? The truth it, it isn’t, and it should never be. As human beings we’re always comparing ourselves to others, wishing that we had the lives of other people, wishing we had better jobs, better homes, better bodies and better everything. But when does the time come that we accept what we are given and let other people get on with the lives they have chosen?

It is illegal to call someone of another race a racial slur, and rightly so – but when did it then become okay to call someone of a different body type unacceptable? When did it become one person’s decision to tell someone that they looked bad, or that they should give up the bad habit that they themselves have never dealt with? It isn’t acceptable, and the reaction to any form of discrimination should be the same. It should not be accepted under any circumstance.

Calling someone out for being gay, being of different ethnicity or having a physical disability makes you look like you’re stuck in the dark ages. So why is it not the same for people who are mentally ill, overweight, underweight or any different from you? It’s not. It’s discrimination and the person doing it is a bully who should have learned to grow up in the playground instead of being halfway through adult life, still dragging their knuckles behind them. I genuinely pity people who feel like they have to go through life telling other people how to live theirs. It must be so draining to have so much hatred seeping through your body that you feel the need to let everyone know about it. It must be tiring not being able to walk down the street without having to tell at least one person what you think of the way they look or the life choices they make. It must be absolutely mind-numbing to only be able to have a social circle of people as cynical and as caveman as yourself.

I have never once had the uncontrollable urge to tell a strange that the skirt they’re wearing shows off more of their flabby legs than is deemed socially acceptable, I’ve never once felt the need to condemn someone for liking food or for enjoying a cigarette or an alcoholic beverage – and I don’t understand how someone could be so full of rage that they would feel the need to tell someone how they should live their life. What other people think of us is none of our business, and if only the people thinking these awful things would realise this then I think the world would be a much more acceptable place.

Instead of the government reprimanding overweight people, smokers, drinkers, disabled people etc. why are they not putting more effort into stopping the things that are actually ruining our country? Like vandalism, murderers, rapists, NHS cuts, job cuts, the recession? It’s perfectly okay to blame the general public for the downfall of society, apparently. But without a respectable government, who are we supposed to look to for hope? Everywhere in the UK is being hit by crippling recession. Everyone wants a job, but there are simply no jobs around. For example, for every retail position available in Scotland it is estimated that at least 500 people apply for each position. You don’t have to be Carol Vordaman to be able to do the maths on that one. Create jobs and it will stop unemployment. Put money into businesses instead of into your pockets. There is no cure for ignorance, and even the government seems to suffer from that.

So, my solution is this- If someone is happy then who are you to tell them how to live their life? If they know the risks of binge drinking, over eating or smoking then why should you be the one arrogant enough to point out their own ignorance? People have the right to make their own choices in this life, and I say that it’s about time they were allowed to. If they’re not harming anyone but themselves then why should it concern a stranger? Why should someone feel so important that they think that them calling someone ‘fat’ is going to make that person change their lifestyle?

The progress our society has made concerning the equal rights of women, homosexuals and different races is staggering – but we’re a long way off being sorted. There has to be an end to this before we raise more and more generations of cavemen and women. Leave them in the dark ages along with their views, and educate yourself and your children that people of all creeds and colours are going through difficult times in their own life, and it is not – in any shape or form – acceptable or healthy for you to take your own misfortunes out on others. If you’re unhappy with your own life, making someone else miserable isn’t going to fix it, the only thing you can do is find your own piece of happiness and let other people find theirs too.

 

Thanks for reading this long and very overdue rant! Much love!

C xx

The Story of a Girl

I think that in this day and age, the most important thing that people could learn about themselves is the thing that makes them happy. It sounds so totally cliche and cheesy, but it’s true; Each of us has a purpose and once you find what yours is then you start to stop feeling so lost, because no matter what is going on in your life you will always have that one thing that gets you through.

For me, the things that get me through are writing, photography and doing things with Don’t Lose Your Grip. Being able to make a difference to other people is something that is really important to me, and my friends are always yelling at me for not taking enough credit for what I’ve started, but here’s the thing; I’m just Chrisselle. I’ve never changed from being the overweight 15 year old that I once was.

The only thing that distinguishes who I am now from the person that I still feel like is that I’m more confident in who I am and what my purpose of life is, I know what I want to do with life and I know who I want to be, and that is such a delightful feeling. It’s almost like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders, and I’m able to focus on making the things I want to happen, happen. I want to be able to tell my kids that they can follow their dreams no matter where they’re from or what the dreams may be, and how can I tell them that if I don’t take the chance myself first? So 2013 is the year of dreams.

This year I am going to be making things happen for DLYG, including holding some small fundraisers around the West Lothian area of Scotland, and then once we have enough I will be planning to hold a charity concert in the summer in order to raise funds for SAMH – Scottish Association for Mental Health. We are currently looking for some bands, and for ANYONE else that would like to help out with fundraising, so if you’re from the central belt of Scotland, please don’t hesitate to get in touch with me on Twitter! @Chrisselle_ or @dontloseurgrip and use the hashtag #HelpDLYG!

As well as this happening, I’m planning to at least write two reasonably good stories to consider for publishing and I’m planning to blog more – which is proving difficult considering how busy I am! BUT, I am planning to write about a different topic each week, including book reviews etc. and, there will be a very important post on the DLYG portion of this site very soon, that will include the interview with the incredible Rae Earl. 

I want to take this chance to thank the people in my life that are supporting me through all of this. I am genuinely humbled by just how much these people believe in me, and just how incredibly supportive they are of everything I do. I couldn’t do it without any of you, and you all know who you are. If it wasn’t for the late night chats, the empty bottles of wine, the coffee mornings, and the nights of me forcing you to eat my food I don’t where I would be. You’re the best people in the world and I am forever thankful for your love and support.

Well, this blog doesn’t really make much sense and I’m sorry about that, but I promise that they will get better as the weeks go on – bare with me just now!

All I can say is that life is wonderful, if you make it wonderful.