Have Courage and Be Kind

My darling girl,

This week you’re going to turn four months old, and I’m already dumbfounded by where the time has gone.

Gone are the days of 3oz bottles and our Teen Mom 2 marathons at 1AM during a night feed, and gone are the days of your newborn cry. Instead that baby who was once so dependant has been replaced by a fiery, funny independent little girl with the best personality.

A little girl who wants so desperately to be able to sit up, to show anyone and everyone her feet that she’s recently discovered, to spend her life under her play gym instead of in your arms and loves nothing more than a raspberry being blown on her tummy.

The newborn cry has been replaced with new sounds depending on how you’re feeling. You have different cries for different needs, you have an angry shout and a beautiful giggle to match your beautiful smile.

The past four months have been a whirlwind and I’m left thinking “did I enjoy them enough?”, “Should we have cuddled more?”, “Should you want to be so independent already?” and the ever-present “am I doing it* correctly?”. *it being motherhood

We’re four months in to your precious life and that has had me thinking about all the wonderful things that lay before us. Your first steps, your first words, your first birthday… all of your firsts. Will time ever slow down or will I be left feeling exactly the same as I do now when I sit in your empty bedroom when you move out? Will I remember those night feeds as I do up your wedding dress? Will I always see the little fiery girl who lays beside me now?

Parents have numerous hopes for their children. Hopes of great educations and successful jobs. Hopes of love and friendships. Hopes of travel and adventure.

For you, Hallie, I hope two things. I hope that throughout your life you will always have courage and always be kind. If you’re able to do these two things, then the rest will come.

I wish for you to have the courage to pursue your dreams – whatever they may be, and that you have the ability to ignore those who doubt them. I hope you have the courage to take your life in the direction you wish, to share it with those you love and admire, and to enjoy every single moment of it. Have the courage to stand up for yourself against bullies, whatever guise they enter your life under. Have the courage to tell people no – unless it’s when you’re a toddler and the thing asked of you is to put on your shoes. In that case please just put on your shoes

Have the courage to live life to the fullest, and know that you will forever be loved unconditionally.

Be kind to everyone you meet, for you never know what someone is going through. Be kind to those who are unkind, as those are the ones who need kindness most. Be kind to your parents – old age doesn’t come itself, and again, those night feeds brought some wrinkles along with those precious memories. Be kind to your friends, they will love you regardless of the decisions you make.

Most importantly though, my darling girl, be kind to yourself. Know that you are valued, loved and adored. Know that you have changed lives in these short four months. Know that you deserve happiness and adventure. Know that you will make mistakes, but that everyone has and continues to do so too. Know that everyone who looks like they have it all together, could just be really great actors.

Take time to have a bath, take time to read, to watch that trashy TV show. Take time for you, make time for you and always, always, remember that your dad and I will be cheering you on. Always.

We got this, Stinker.

Three is the magic number.

X

The Power of Words

Want to know the one thing that I’ve noticed these past few weeks, other than the fabulous weather that the UK has been having? Just how angry it makes me that larger people feel the need to cover up an uncomfortable amount during the heatwave in fear of being taunted or offending someone for what they are wearing.

I recently seen a girl wearing jogging bottoms, two t-shirts and a hoody in 28C heat, she looked uncomfortably warm and exhausted from the heat. There is no logic in wearing so many layers in a heat like that other than being too scared to show your body – I’ve been there, and some days I’m still there.

I remember dreading summer because I knew that I was going to be hot and sweaty and want to be covered up to avoid stares and comments being made about how I ‘shouldn’t’ wear certain things just because they came in my size.

The question is who gives society the right to dictate what people should and shouldn’t wear? The answer is the individual themselves. If you don’t let people get to you with their stares and comments, then there is no power in their words. You are the only person who can decide if what someone says is going to affect you, and more importantly how it will affect you. For example, if someone said to me that I ‘look like that girl from My Mad Fat Diary’ then I would be flattered, because Sharon Rooney is gorgeous, but some people may see that as an insult purely because of the word ‘fat’. Now, let’s just take a look at the word fat.

Fat.

/fat/

Noun: a natural oily or greasy substance occurring in animal bodies, esp. when deposited as a layer under the skin or around certain organs.

Adjective: (of a person or animal) Having a large amount of excess flesh.

So, looking at the official definition of the word, there isn’t really anything insulting about it, is there? I mean yes, I do have excess flesh, but the majority of that is from losing weight – and I could get that removed, but the truth is I value my life more than my body and I would much rather live a life with some extra flesh than increase my chance of death my voluntarily putting myself through a dangerous procedure.

Now, if we looked at the Urban Dictionary definition of ’fat’ then that would be a different story, but the thing is; there is no power in words unless you put that power there. If you were to read through the dictionary, you would simply see words with no power other than the power to create sentences and stories with them, so why can’t we see words like that all of the time?

Just because a word can have venom behind it, does not make it important. Live life the way YOU want to, and don’t pay attention to those people who feel the need to pass their own insecurities onto you!

I wore a dress without tights this week. Guess what? The world did not end! I then wore shorts, and I didn’t cause the zombie apocalypse! And more importantly, I enjoyed the heat instead of suffering in it.

All I’m saying is that you should wear what you are comfortable in, and what you like. Not what society says is socially acceptable for you to wear. Love that new dress? Wear it! Don’t leave it stored away for the moths to enjoy.

I know from personal experience that this can be hard, and it can be hard to find clothes that you feel comfortable in and enjoy from a fashion point of view, but you are not alone in the big beautiful world and you can find inspiration and tips from some fabulous people out there.

Tess Munster (@TessMunster) is a beautiful lady who is encouraging people on (and off of) Instagram to #effyourbeautystandards and accept yourself for who you are. Following this lady has given me the confidence to say #effyourbeautystandards and enjoy the clothes that I would have previously hidden away from.

Honor Curves (@HonorCurves) is another of my body acceptance idols. You can find her and her #honormycurves movement on Instagram and on Twitter. She’s out there making sure that women of all shapes and sizes remember to honour their bodies instead of judging them. We only get one body, and there is no point in going through life hating the shell you are in. Honor is a great inspiration for those looking for tips on how to accept your body.

There is also a HUGE network of plus-size beauty bloggers out there for you to find inspiration from. Don’t give up, and remember to stay fatulous!

Thanks for reading,
Chrisselle xo