If I Lay Here

Hi guys! So it seems that I’ve hardly blogged this month and that’s because I’ve been really busy! First with bringing my ass down here to Liverpool, secondly with enjoying being here in Liverpool! I’m seriously loving it here, and I had an urge to blog, so I thought I’d just stop by and give you all a little update!

First off, I want to thank all of you, Chrisselle.Com received a mind-blowing amount of hits last month with a grand total of 29,000+! I’m so gobsmacked, seriously! You have no idea how much it means to me to be able to have some sort of an influence on people, especially if it’s a possible one.

As for my personal life, I’m happier than I have been in months. Always homesick when I wake up, and when I finally decide to head to bed, but a few hours of feeling homesick for the happiness I’ve been experiencing lately? I’d do it ten times over and then a hundred times more. I know, I know, I seem selfish, but at the end of the day it’s time for me to make me happy.

Happiness; It’s a feeling, right? One that some people have the joy of feeling constantly and one that others can search high and low for. It’s something that can be taken away as quickly as it is given. But more importantly, it’s something that people forget to appreciate. I’m so completely guilty of it myself. I let the bad outweigh the good even though the bad is a rock and the good is a mountain. It’s a human thing to constantly find a flaw in something, for example; I quite like my Twitter avatar, but I hate how odd my hand looks in it, and that’s what I focus on. So, what I’m saying is that maybe it’s time we all rethought things. Feelings that make us anything less than happy should always come second to those of happiness. Did you know that happiness and laughter makes you live longer? No? Well, you do now.

I want every single person reading this to know something. Look around you, how many people are popping up on your screen with a “Hey, how are you?” or blowing your cellphone up with text messages asking how your weekend was, what about that friend you spent a few minutes on the phone to the other day? Or even the last person that you hugged, smiled at or even said hello to. Do you want me to let you in on a little secret? You just made an impact on that person’s life. You shouldn’t care about how big or small that impact is, it’s there and believe it or not, it’s always going to be. I can remember some woman who I never knew or met before in my entire life complimenting how my purple eyeshadow looked good with my natural brown eyes. And do you know that even to this day whenever I apply make-up I think of how lovely it was of that woman to say that?

They say that things happen for a reason, and yes, sadly that can mean the bad things too. But honestly? If the bad didn’t happen we wouldn’t be able to appreciate the good. Do I wish that the bad never, ever, ever had to happen? Of course I do! Do I regret any of the hard times I’ve been through in my life? No. Not at all, because I wouldn’t be the person I am today without the knowledge that things get better.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m just like every other person out there, I paint on a smile when really all I want to do is curl up in bed and disappear for a few days. But it’s not as simple as that, we have people in our lives that need us just as much as we need them. There’s people that love us, and are willing to help us through hard times.

Look around you, you’re sitting in a warm house, with a working computer, cellphone, even an iPod or maybe an iPad? Whichever one, you’ve got an Internet connection and the ability to connect with the world, use it. Instead of complaining that your mom made you do a chore, or that your school sucks. Why not be grateful for the things you do have in life? A caring family, loving friends, and most importantly the ability to breathe.

Life is hard, trust me I know. So many things have happened in my life that no-one knows, and more than likely never will. I’m just happy to be alive, to have the people I have in my life, and to know what true love feels like. I’m a dreamer, you could say. But trust me, I’m a happy one at that.

Now, I don’t know if this blog makes sense, it probably doesn’t. But not much in life does, you’ve just gotta take out the parts you understand and work on them.

Much love and many thanks for reading!
Chrisselle.

Life’s A Playground

So, I said that there would be letters popping up now and then. Well, this is one of those moments.
This letter is for Miss Jenni Imrie, soon to be Jenni Mowatt. Jenni is my sister-in-law, but she’s more like a sister to me.

Hello pretty lady.

It feels strange writing to you.. I’m so used to just texting you “Oh, it’s a long story I’ll tell you when I come down.” and then coming down and chilling out for the night while we gossip, more than likely get drunk, and have so many laughs that it hurts.

Jenni, I honestly don’t think you know half of who you are. Do you know why? Because you’re incredible. You’re such an amazing person. You’ve always been there for me, no matter what. Even if it was as simple as “My mum’s annoying me,” You make me feel safe. You’re like a big sister to me, and you always will be no matter what happens, and no matter how many miles away I am.

I’m having so my much fun here, and I’ve honestly not been this happy in forever. You’d love it here, it’s so pretty.

I miss you, Scott and the girls. Heck, I miss everyone. But I’m doing something for me, and it feels good. I couldn’t have done it without you because you supported me through everything and I can’t thank you enough for it.

You’re an inspiration to be honest. You’re such an incredible mother, partner, sister, aunt and daughter. The people that have you in their lives are lucky to have you and they should know it. I know I do. I’m so thankful to have you because you’re one of the reasons I can still breathe. You make things seem safe.

I want to thank you for helping me have an incredible birthday. I loved my night out, and our little night out to the reading. It made me really happy, and the reading you got me as a gift was one of the best things that’s happened this year.

One day we’re going to have everything, and no-one’s going to interfere with our happiness. Why? Because we deserve it.

I love you, never forget that.

Love,
Chrisselle.♥

I’m not too sure how many letters I’ve written, but I know I have so many more to write. So if you’re wondering why you haven’t had yours yet, it’s because I’ve been busy. But don’t worry. You’ll get it some day soon!

Right now I’m happier than I’ve been in as long as I can remember. It’s as if everything’s finally coming together.

Oh! Before I forget, I got an exclusive look at some Hordasken goodness today and all I have to say is WOW, you guys are going to be super pleased, so I hope you’re super excited! Keep your eyes peeled for the single and album. And don’t forget to check out the official siteTwitter, and Facebook!

Much love and thanks for reading!
Chrisselle.

Warm Fuzzy Feeling

So, you’ll never guess what! I finally got to Liverpool! I’m actually sitting in my new home for the month writing this. I’m all snuggly and warm beside the fire, waiting on Hammy waking up so that we can go grab some food before getting to work.

I know that some people are upset about me getting up on Friday morning and just jumping on the first bus down. And yeah, it may seem a little last minute kinda thing. But really? It isn’t. I’ve been planning to move for months now, and the majority of people have known about it for months. Also, I’m only gone for a month. I do intend on coming back after Christmas. I miss every single person from home, of course I do. But I need to do this for me, I can’t even tell you how badly I had to do this. Put it this way, this trip has more than likely saved my life. I just had to do this for me, and I’m sorry that it’s hurt a few people, and I’m sorry that it seems selfish.

I want to thank you guys, because I couldn’t have done this without the support I’ve been given by so many of you. I love all of you with all of my heart.

So what’s next for me? I honestly, have no clue. I think over the holidays it’s going to be a case of making plans for after the holidays. That’s the way I like my life to be though, constantly changing with the main parts staying the same.

I know that 240 miles may seem like a long way, but in reality, it isn’t. It’s literally only a bus or train ride away. I thought I’d be so much more nervous than I am, but nope, I feel right at home. My ‘home’ will always be where my family is, but my family is everywhere, as long as I’m with someone who I love, I’m at home. Of course it’s scary and new being away from the people I’ve basically grew up with, but I’m 19. It’s time for me to start living my life.

Okay, so enough of the babbling about my own private life, and on with some of the serious subject matters to attend to.

As I’m sure the majority of you are aware, this year is Britain’s worst winter in decades. I know for a fact that right across central Scotland is completely covered in almost waist high snow. And I know that most people, even myself have been complaining that the councils and government haven’t done enough to be ready for this. And I honestly don’t think they have, but you can’t predict the weather. So what can we do to help? Well, if you’re able to, why not get a few people together and grab some snow shovels and help each other out? It’ll be lovely to have some more community spirit, especially around this time of year. It makes sense too, I mean of course, you pay hard earned money to get the services done for you, but at the end of the day… When has paying tax ever payed off?

All I’m saying is how about helping thy neighbour. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I come from one of the roughest areas in Scotland, but surprisingly enough we were all out with shovels and digging cars out as well as a path straight through the snow for people that needed to get out on foot.

I guess all we can really do is work together and hope to god that the council and government are better prepared next time.

I also want to thank First Bus and National Express for being able to deal with such conditions. The drivers were lovely and made me feel completely safe for the majority of my journey, now that’s an achievement on it’s own considering one of my biggest phobias is car crashes.

I’m going to be perfectly honest with you, I have no idea where this blog is going. It was supposed to be just a quick update because I’ve been asked on Formspring to keep you guys updated. So I hope this helps!

I have 75 Formspring questions to answer today… I don’t even know how I’m going to think of witty responses for all of these.

Oh, before I forget. One of my best friend’s Angela Wilson wrote a lovely blog about me on Friday, I teared up on the coach because of it. You can find ithere. I love this girl with all my heart, and I hope she knows it! She’s so beautiful, she needs to start sharing some of that pretty around.

I want to say a huge thank you to Hammy Havoc. He doesn’t realize just how incredible he is. I literally feel blessed to know him. I feel right now life is at a place where it’s laying out my future for me, and I get to just sit back and watch it pan out. And I know for certain that Pange and Hammy are both going to be huge factors in my life along with everyone else.

Well, I’m going to head off at the moment and sort some things out. I know this post made barely any sense.. but yeah!
Also, thank you guys so much who come back post after post, you really do make me so happy. It’s such a lovely feeling knowing that your words actually mean something to someone.

Lots of love and many  thanks,
Chrisselle.

You Are The One Who Lies Close To Me

So the original plan was to write a new blog every day of November. But, yesterday instead of writing a blog I redone the pages of the site. So if you have a look at the sections to the left of this blog you’ll see some changes in the About and Biography sections, and you’ll notice a brand new section called Networks where you’ll find the links to all my social networks as well as the link for the RSS feed of my blog if you would like it.

The new plan? To try and blog every day of November again! Today I’ve spent all day watching movies and not really doing anything productive apart from making myself happy and taking a day to just be by myself.

I think everyone needs one of those days. Y’know the kind where you wake up at a ridiculous time, stay in your sweats and under the covers and only get out of bed to get food or change the movie? Those days where you just focus on yourself and making your mood improve with some silly movies.

Today it really feels like winter, like Christmas is just around the corner. And it makes me want to do nothing but exactly what I described, with the person I love. The festive season is all about spending time with the people  that mean the world to you, whether it be friends, family, or that special someone.

It’s a time for just being together and focusing on the love that you have in your life, and I guess I’ve not really been doing that lately. I’ve been letting other things get on top of me and it’s time for that to stop. I have so many amazing people in my life and they deserve a happy Chrisselle.

I can’t thank the people I have in my life enough for how much love and support they show me.  No matter what they’ve stood by me and been there when I needed a shoulder to cry on. They mean the world to me and it’s time that they were the focus of my life instead of the bad things.

What I’m going to do over the nest few days is post blogs that are actually letters to the people who mean the world to me. They deserve to know how much they mean to me. So today? Today this letter is for the one person who is my absolute everything, they know who they are.

Sweetie, I don’t think there will ever be a point where you know just how much you mean to me. You’re my world and you make everything safe. Knowing that I can come to you when I’m upset and you’ll reassure me that life is going to be good makes me happier than you could ever imagine, heck, you make me happier than you could ever imagine.

I can’t put into words just how much I love you. It’s like, when I think of the intensity of my love for you, everything else seems so small, even the biggest things that upset me seem so little in comparison to the absolute, blissful happiness you give me.

Please never think that you’re nothing, because you’re everything. You’re so incredible and you don’t even realise it. We have so many amazing memories, and I can’t wait to make more with you.

I miss you, so much when we aren’t together. I miss your smile, the feel of your hand in mine, the touch of your lips on my lips. I miss how we just randomly giggle at the silliest things. I miss snuggling up just before we fall asleep and talking about nothing in particular, or just laying there staring at the ceiling with your arms around me and my head on your chest. I miss cuddling up in the cold and you kissing my forehead. I miss how when you leave the room for even just two minutes, when you come back you sneak up behind me and wrap your arms around me whilst leaving a gentle kiss on my neck. I miss you.

I could list the reasons I love you, but I would be here for days listing new thing after new thing. You amaze me, literally. You’re so much more talented than you give yourself credit for. You’re so smart and clever. And you don’t even realise just how many people love you.

You’re my world, never, ever forget that I love you. Because this isn’t just forever and always, it’s infinity.

All my love, Chrisselle. ♥

So yeah, this begins the week of letters. I don’t know how many people will read these, and it doesn’t really matter. As long as the person it’s for reads it. Because every person that gets one of these should know that they mean the world to me. And I never want to lose any of you.

Much love and many thanks for reading.
Chrisselle.