It’s Valentine’s Day! Okay.. that really doesn’t have anything to do with this post, but still, I thought I’d just say to you all that I hope you have a wonderful day, no matter what you’re doing and regardless of your ‘status’.
I think what this post is mainly about is.. well, me. I know that sounds pretty egomaniac like of me, but I just have some stuff on my mind that I feel I need to get out, and what better way than to thousands of people.. right? Okay, time to get serious…
Recently I’ve not really been acting or feeling like myself, I don’t know what it is, and I don’t know how to shake it. I hate talking about it because I feel like I just bring other people down and/or sound like I’m looking for attention, but I’m not. This post is just to warn you guys that, if I happen to snap at any of you, or seem pretty down, don’t worry about it. I’ll be back to normal in no time, I’ve just got a lot on my mind.
I was talking to a friend yesterday about how, when I was younger I used to have it in my head that if I was out enjoying myself it meant that something bad would happen to someone that I should have been looking after. And I guess, with already being worried about my fathers health, that kind of mindset is creeping it’s way back into my mind.
I honestly just don’t know anymore, like, I don’t know if I know who I am, if that makes sense?
Y’see the completely confusing thing is, that I can be so completely happy and then one thing can make my mood change drastically, and no, I’m not claiming to be bipolar, it just scares me sometimes that’s all.
But yeah, I can be happy, so let’s talk about that shall we? I’m so content where my life is right now, but on one hand I’m terrified. Why am I terrified? Simply because I’m a teen.. it seems to come with the territory. I wouldn’t change a thing or person in my life right now, apart from maybe me, I’d like to change some aspects of me, but not too much of them.
I know, I know, I keep talking about how you shouldn’t change.. but this is different, because I can feel myself changing without actually wanting to. So the few changes that I would want to change would be the things that have already changed without my control.
I think what I need to do, is put myself first for a change and find out what’s making me feel so all over the place. But the question is, is do I really want to know? Or is ignorance really bliss? I guess only time will tell.
In other news, I’m tired of my Twitter and Facebook streams being full of Valentine’s Day guff. It’s a day, it’s just like yesterday and it’ll be the exact same tomorrow. If you can show someone how much you love them on Valentine’s Day, what’s stopping you from doing it every other day? Or more importantly, why aren’t you doing it every other day?
If you’re in a relationship, it’s just another date night. And if you’re single, it’s not a big deal to be single on Valentine’s Day, in fact, I think this is like my second Valentine’s Day that I’ve actually been in a relationship. It’s only a day, it’s not a big deal, and it’s not something to get upset over.
Did you know that a ridiculously high percentage of relationships and even marriages end due to a ‘bad’ Valentine’s Day?! That’s crazy. Like seriously crazy. Why would you end a relationship over something so small? Okay, I could see the point if there had been lots of little things building up and that was just the icing on the cake.. but come on! Ending a relationship purely based on the fact that you didn’t have a nice Valentine’s Day.. that’s just. I can’t even fathom how insane that is.
I don’t really have much to say, apart from; I love you all, and if I could have all of you as my Valentine’s I would! You’re all wonderful.
I have some super exciting news coming up for you guys in a few days, so keep your ears and eyes peeled and you’ll be in for a treat that a few of you may even be involved in!
Much love and thanks for reading!