Merry Christmas, Everyone!

Hello strangers!

It’s been a while, hasn’t it?! I’ve been so busy with life in the real world that I’ve been struggling to keep my poor little blog updated. But here I am two days before Christmas holed up in my boyfriend’s bedroom and making sure that I have some time to up date you all as we come to the end of another roller coaster of a year!

2013 has definitely been a roller coaster, but thankfully with more ups than downs. This is the first year where I have felt that I’ve definitely figured out who I am and where I want to go in life, and that is honestly the best feeling in the world. I know who I am and for once I feel like I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be in life. I’ve never had that before, I’ve never felt so settled and comfortable in my own skin, and I guess you could say that is down to a few factors. Let’s see what those factors are, shall we?

1. Confidence – This year I made a resolution to myself that I was going to try and be more confident in my appearance and start wearing clothes that I would normally lust after but never actually purchase. I’ve always hidden behind the fact that I’m not really a girly girl in order to get away with not wearing pretty dresses or short skirts, but this year I promised myself that I was going to start wearing whatever the hell I liked, and if people had an issue with that then that was there problem. It’s been a year of bright colours, short skirts, dresses and no shame. It has been such a liberating feeling to go out wearing clothes that I like and not feel bad for wearing them. Sure, now and then I’ll get a comment or a stare, but I don’t care about those anymore. They would have destroyed me a while ago, but now I know that it’s their issue; not mine. I’m comfortable in my skin, I’m happy in my life and what I wear does not define me as a person.

2. People – Being surrounded by loving and supportive people has helped greatly in my journey to self acceptance. I’ve got great friends, a wonderful close family who support me no matter what, a fantastic college class full of a mixture of the most talented and odd people that I’ve ever met – they’ve definitely got me through the first term of college, but more on that later!- and of course, last but not least, I have the love of a good man to get me through even my darkest moments. He makes everything seem safe and that is a wonderful feeling. He’s been in my life for six months now, but it feels like he’s always been there. We’re just two matching pieces of a puzzle, and it feels absolutely lovely to share that bond with someone.

3. Belief – As you all know, I’m not the religious type. But that does not mean that I don’t have a belief system, it simply means that I believe in something a little different from the majority of today’s society. I believe in people, and I think that if more people did then the world would be a much nicer place. I believe that no matter how anxious I feel about something, it will no be the end of the world. I believe that every little thing that happens in our lives happens for a reason. I believe that what is for us will not pass us by, and I believe that it is our duty to grab those things with both hands and make the moments perfect instead of waiting for the perfect moments.

So there, the three things that have made this year my most self-confident year yet. I’m so content with life right now that there are only a few things that could knock me off of this cloud; but I’m not going to discuss them in this post. This post is a yearly roundup and I’m hoping to leave it on a positive note!

So, top ten things that happened this year?

  •  Deciding that life isn’t about what other people think
  • Interviewing one of my idols, Rae Earl
  • Being given my own column in the Konect Directory
  • Landing a job as a photography intern
  • Starting college and learning more and more about photography
  • Meeting Andrew and finding the wonderful love that we share
  • Coffee mornings for DLYG
  • Hitting 5,000 followers on the Don’t Lose Your Grip twitter account!
  • Reconnecting with my oldest niece, Chloe
  • Being proud of the person that I am today

It may not be the longest list in the world, but if I were to go through every great thing that happened this year then I would be here all day.

Over the years I’ve learned that life isn’t about physical things, but in the moments that surround you every day. This year has been full of wonderful moments that I will never forget, and the majority of those would not have happened had it not been for the people that are in my life. The people who are by my side no matter what.

As we come close to the end of the year, my head is full of ideas and hope for 2014. There are a lot of people out there who can’t wait for this year to be over, but to be honest I’m sitting here daring next year to try and be better than this year, and I’m sure it will be.

I want to wish all of you a magical Christmas and wonderful new year when it comes. Keep your eyes peeled for a more in depth update in the new year that will include a run-down of our hopes for Don’t Lose Your Grip and Chrisselle.com in 2014. Things are getting exciting, and I’m so glad that I get to share this journey with you all.

Much love,

Chrisselle xox

This is No Miraculous Life

Hi. I’m Chrisselle Mowatt, a 21 year old girl from a town in Scotland. It’s not a special town, or anything like that; the homes here were made for the masses and we’re all ridiculously overcrowded as a town and there isn’t really a sense of community. It’s any modern suburbia, really. There’s teens who loiter everywhere, there’s graffiti on nearly every surface possible, there’s cigarette butts and chewing gum all over the pavements, but there’s something that Livingston has brought me; It’s brought me life.

When I first moved to Livingston I was a confused 11 year old who had been taken from the only town she’d ever known, where everyone knew each other and you could walk down the street and see at least five people that you knew, or the neighbours would pop round for a coffee and keeping your door locked was something that was only done at night. Ten years, two breakdowns, three relationships, countless friendships made and lost and here I am; a 21 year old girl, living life to the full and starting the path to having the two careers of my dreams.

How it happened, I’ll never know. Some people say hard work, others say talent, but I say luck and support from those who matter. I honestly don’t know where I would be right now if it wasn’t for any of them, they all mean the world to me and they all know who they are. Sometimes I think about how different my path would have been had I not moved to Livingston all those years ago, and it terrifies me.

Just the other week there I was given the chance to write for the local Livingston magazine; The Konect Directory and it made me realise that although I’ve never really felt like a Livingston resident in all senses of the word, I do have so many ties here that I would never change for the world. I have my best friends, my wonderful family and jobs that I love. Not only am I now writing for Konect, but I’ve also been given an apprenticeship at Livingston based photographic studio itsPhotographic and I couldn’t be more overjoyed at that. I get on with everyone I work with and I class each of them as a friend instead of a colleague.

My friends have managed to put up with my dreaming since I left highschool; first I was going to move to America and become a journalist, then I was going to be a fashion designer, then I was going to be a teacher, then I was going to be a nursery nurse and now I’m going to be a writer, author, photographer and save the world- Not too much pressure then , eh? I honestly don’t know how they do it, but they believe in me and hold my hand each step of the way. They celebrate the highs with me and help me fix they lows; they’re the best kind of people you could ever wish for in life and I just hope that they’re in mine for good.

My family are another bunch of people who have patience that only a family could have. I’ve been resisting their “Why not be a carer?” “What about college?” enquiries for six years now, and it’s finally starting to pay off. The thing that is most rewarding though isn’t finally getting my dream jobs, it is seeing my parents proud of me and excited for my future; that’s the only thing I’ve ever wanted to do with my life was to make my parents proud and as long as I’m doing that then I’ll be happy.

Another, extremely special person that has the patience of a saint is my wonderful partner Anthony. He’s been there for me through some of the hardest times of my life, and yet somehow he’s  still here. He manages to deal with me better than even I do. He knows how to make me laugh when I feel like crying and he knows just what to say when I need that extra push of motivation to get something done. He keeps telling me that he’s proud of me, but here’s the truth; I’m proud of him. I’m proud to be able to call such a wonderful human being my partner and I cannot wait for what the future holds for us. I can’t thank him enough for all that he does for me, or for just how much he supports me. He’s the most wonderful person I’ve ever met, and that will never change.

I guess you could say that life is pretty perfect right now, well, as perfect as it can be for a depression and anxiety sufferer; I have my bad days, but so does everyone and right now there is a lot less bad days than there is good. I’m taking my meds, I’m sleeping more than I used to and I’m talking to people when I need to instead of letting everything build up like I used to. Life is great, and I finally feel like I’m getting somewhere instead of being stuck in a dead-end town with no prospects. The truth is that where you’re from doesn’t determine the person you are or the things that you will achieve in life. If you believe and work hard at making your dreams a reality then slowly but surely it will happen.

Don’t Lose Your Grip is also coming on leaps and bounds which is intensely exciting and rewarding. We have provisionally booked the Regal Theatre in Bathgate, West Lothian in order for us to put on a charity concert in July 2013 to raise money for SAMH (Scottish Association of Mental Health.) We are also going to be holding regular coffee mornings, bag packing days and other fundraising activities in order to raise the money to have to hold the main event. As soon as we have more plans set in stone, I will let you all know!

Once again I’d just like to thank you all so much for everything – whether it’s for supporting me or putting me down because you’ve both played a role in getting me to the place I am today. Life wouldn’t be the same if it wasn’t for everything I have been through and for the first time in my life, I can safely say that I don’t want to be anyone but me.

Thank you for reading, have a great week!
C xx

I’m Still Learning

Well, like my last blog said; life has changed a hell of a lot the past few years, and it just doesn’t stop there. It just keeps changing, sometimes for the good, and just like most things; sometimes for the bad.

Could I have life any other way? Not at all. I used to be terrified of change, but now I embrace it. I guess you could put that down to simply growing up, but you could also put it down to the fact that every good change I’ve had in my life has taught me something new and exciting, just like every bad change has been a lesson learned.

Continue reading “I’m Still Learning”